Karinwritesdangerously

« The best way I ever found to help someone overcome fear and rapidly develop courage and self-confidence is by speaking before groups. I discovered that when I lost my fear of speaking to audiences, I lost my fear of speaking to individuals, no matter how big and important they were. This training and experience in public speaking got me out of my shell, opened my eyes to my own possibilities, and widened my horizons. It was one of the turning points in my career. »

Frank Bettger, How I Raised Myself From Failure to Success in Selling

Many moons ago, when I managed — almost by accident — to get my first book published, my darling mom Dorothy performed one of the many acts of love and support she lavished upon me: She encouraged me to take a Dale Carnegie course.

I was in my twenties, and though I had managed to co-author a book and was very proud of it, I was totally tongue-tied when it came to talking about it. My wise mom, knowing that I had a fierce desire to share what I had learned despite my shyness, pushed me into public speaking. And though it was difficult for me, I persisted. 

Week after week, along with others in many walks of life, I got up and spoke. As time went on, I forgot my shyness and became excited about what I wanted to say. I can honestly say that this course changed my life. I realized that if I could convey my enthusiasm and passion, I could reach other people. 

As time went on, I grew more confident in this ability. Over the years, it has become a huge source of pleasure and satisfaction to me. As writers, we often labor alone — yet at some point in our journey, it is so soul-satisfying to share what we know with others. 

You may be as shy as I was — and that’s OK. But, trust me, you don’t have to remain that way. Like me, you can come out of your shell and share what you know — through open mike sessions, or talks at a library, or public speaking courses. Never feel that you are too afraid to speak up — just like me, you can step beyond your fear. As Mr. Irving Kizner, my wonderful high-school Latin teacher, wrote in my yearbook: “Speak up! You have so much to say and you say it so well!” I say the same to you: “Speak out! Speak up! You have so much to say and you say it so well!” Speak up — and write on!

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“It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.
Sir Edmund Hillary”

So often, I’ve found, when writers talk about their work, they do it in an almost dismissive, self-disparaging way. This tendency takes many forms, some straightforward and some subtle. Writers beware! Danger ahead! If we don’t value our work, who will? Here are a few examples I’ve heard in of ways in which writers tend to belittle themselves:

They talk about how impossible their projects are: We all hit rough patches in our work. But one writer I overheard kept dwelling on how challenging her genre was. It was almost as if she was defeated before she started because she was attempting something that wasn’t just difficult, but beyond her. Why should this be true? If she works hard enough, why shouldn’t she produce a work worthy of many readers?

They don’t shoot high enough: One writer had gone through a rigorous training program but seemed to feel that what was accomplished was enough of a stretch and that there was really no reason to go farther or try to push the work that was completed to the next level.

They feel that if they aren’t working on something specific, they aren’t working: As writers, we all go through fallow periods when we are in between projects. This doesn’t have to be a time of self-condemnation — it can be a time of discovery, of planting seeds. 

How we talk about our work makes a difference! While it’s important to share our struggles, let’s also share our joy and sense of achievement. Let’s not defeat ourselves by talking negatively about what we do and how we’re doing it. And let’s remember that just like a mountain climber, it’s not the mountain we conquer — it’s ourselves. Write on! 

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“Words, once they are printed, have a life of their own.”
Carol Burnett

We’ve all experienced periods when the literary landscape appears dry and uninviting. Sometimes this takes the form of writer’s block, or a long time between books, or difficulty getting work out into the world.

But surely few writers can lay claim — or would want to! – to the long 14-year dry spell in which Barbara Pym, a well-published and popular British novelist, received a raft of rejection letters, including several for Quartet in Autumn, which was ultimately shortlisted for the Booker Prize.

Barbara had penned six modestly successful novels when her publishing house simply decided not to accept any more of her books because they just weren’t profitable enough. How did Barbara respond to the 14-year drought? She felt frustrated and abandoned, but she kept on writing. She finished two more novels and filled notebook after notebook — she always carried one — with little gems of observation. 

Finally, in 1977 she was identified in The Times Literary Supplement by several writers as one of the most underrated authors of the last 75 years. Suddenly, she was on top again: Publishers wanted her books, her backlist was reissued, and she was filmed and feted. What a turnaround!

Today, Barbara is often compared to Jane Austen and Trollope for her acute eye and sympathetic treatment of domestic drama and ordinary lives. Excellent Women is among her best-known novels. I read it some time ago — and it’s truly a gem. It starts slowly, but gains power as it plumbs the human condition with deep sympathy and wit. How fascinating to think that Barbara is on top once again — she’s an original! And how instructive to remember that literary fashions come and go, but readers remain ever loyal to the authors they love. It’s readers who kept Barbara’s work alive. Write on!

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As kids, many of us received allowances from our parents and as parents, we’ve also given allowances to (and often make allowances for) our children. As adults, however, we’re not always so generous to ourselves. We’re often caught up in the “oughts” and “musts.” Let’s be kinder to ourselves by giving ourselves the 10 allowances created by a wise woman named Margaret Buckley:*

1.   You are allowed to follow your dreams.

2.   You are allowed to laugh and have fun.

3.   You are allowed to like what you like and to dislike what you
dislike, no matter how many people disagree with you.

4.   You are allowed to have some time for yourself, even
if you have to work very hard to find it.

5.   You are allowed to be creative.

6.   You are allowed to have a bad day.

7.   You are allowed, maybe even encouraged, to make
mistakes.

8.   You are allowed to change your mind.

9.   You are allowed not to know all the answers.

10.  You are allowed to ignore this list.

OK! We’re allowed to be creative, to make mistakes, to not know all the answers, and even to have a bad day. What a relief! We’re human and if we find our writing journey today brings us to some potholes and we stumble, well, so be it. Let’s pick ourselves up gently and write on!

* This uplifting list comes to us via the wonderful Dr. Robert Gilbert. Check out his fabulous Success Hotline (973.743.4690)

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“It was the month of May. From every height the full fresh steams of spring water were flowing down into the valley. The clear warm sunshine lay upon the mountain, which had turned green again. The last snows had disappeared and the sun had already coaxed many of the flowers to show their bright heads above the grass. Up above the gay young wind of spring was singing through the fir trees, and shaking down the old dark needles to make room for the new bright ones that were soon to deck the trees in their spring finery. Higher up still the great bird went circling round in the blue ether as of old, while the golden sunshine lit up the grandfather’s hut, and all the ground about it was warm and dry again so that one might sit out where one liked. Heidi was at home again on the mountain, running backwards and forwards in her accustomed way, not knowing which spot was most delightful. Now she stood still to listen to the deep, mysterious voice of the wind, as it blew down to her from the mountain summits, coming nearer and nearer and gathering strength as it came, till it broke with force against the fir trees, bending and shaking them, and seeming to shout for joy, so that she too, though blown about like a feather, felt that she must join in the chorus of exulting sounds. Then she would run round again to the sunny space in front of the hut, and seating herself on the ground would peer closely into the short grass to see how many little flower cups were open or thinking of opening. She rejoiced in all the myriad little beetles and winged insects that jumped and crawled and danced in the sun, and drew in deep draughts of the spring scents that rose from the newly awakened earth, and thought the mountain was more beautiful than ever. All the tiny creatures must be as happy as she, for it seemed to her there were little voices all round her singing and humming in joyful tones, ‘On the mountain! on the mountain!’”

From Heidi by Johanna Spyri. Yes, this is all one long, lovely paragraph — and how delightful! I want to be up on the mountain with Heidi, listening to all the earth singing. Don’t you?

“Dive deep, that’s where the big fish are.”
Christopher Denise, illustrator

“You can’t push the river.” Whenever I start trying too hard with my writing, this old river-rafting adage comes to my aid. You know the feeling: You are really “efforting” — straining so hard to get something right, or to figure out a thorny plot or character problem, that instead of getting a positive result, all you encounter is resistance. 

Often this happens when we’re operating with our conscious, controlling mind rather than diving deeper into depths of our unconscious — that playful, imaginative part of ourselves that’s our true creative wellspring.

When things start feeling forced, superficial instead of natural and organic — when they seem to skim the surface of things rather than bubbling up from somewhere deep and authentic — what can we do to jump start a more creative response? A few ideas I came across recently may help:

Stop straining: If pushing the river isn’t working, then stop pushing the river! Recognize that you’ve hit an impasse or a plateau. Adjust your attitude: see it as not as an obstacle, but as an opportunity, an invitation to be more open and adventurous, to try something fresh and new.

Go treasure hunting: Instead of condemning yourself for your lack of imagination, invite yourself to have fun, get messy, play around — think of the new path you’re exploring as an adventure, a game. Have fun!

Just “freelax” gently: Give up trying to muscle your mind into giving you want you want and engage your imagination by allowing yourself to enter a relaxed, pleasant state where you’re free to wander and explore. Opt for creative flow rather than linear, logical thinking.

Slow down: Quit trying to drive forward: take your foot off the gas. Daydream, listen to your inner voice, and have the courage to simply wait to see what emerges. Don’t push for results, just wait and see what’s revealed. And write on!

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Dr. Edward Hallowell is a bestselling author, psychiatrist, and ADD expert. I interviewed him once and I’ll never forget how compassionate and insightful he was. In a blog post, he offered 10 very helpful 3-word tips on focus we can all use:

1.  Do The Impossible. People focus most intently when they take on a challenge, when they are working in an area where they are skilled, but where they are also stretched. Often, amazingly enough, what seemed impossible becomes possible.

2.  Trust Your Way. Perhaps the single most clichéd song lyric ever, “I did it my way,” became so clichéd because its message is so powerful. We focus best, we do our best, when we do it our way. We all have our routines, our own individualized process, or way, for producing our best work. Trust yours. When you don’t know where you’re headed, your process, your way, will allow your unconscious to enter in. It will guide you and often surprise you with your most valuable discoveries and unexpected solutions. Don’t work against your grain, but with it.

3.  Take A Break. When you start to glaze over or feel frantic, stop what you are doing. Stand up, walk around, get a glass of water, stretch. Just 60 seconds can do the trick.

4.  T.I.O. Turn It Off. Turn off your electronic devices during periods of your day when you want uninterrupted, focused time.

5.  Ask For Help. Don’t feel it is sign of weakness to ask for help when you hit a snag. Just the opposite. It is a sign of strength and can get you out of a confused place and back on track.

6.  Take Your Time. It’s one of truest rules of modern life is: If you don’t take your time, someone or something else will take it from you. Guard your time jealously. It is your most prized possession. Do not give it away easily.

7.  Close Your Eyes. When you are losing focus or feeling confused, the simple act of sitting back in your chair and closing your eyes can, oddly enough, allow you to see clearly. It can restore focus and provide a new direction.

8.  Draw A Picture. Visuals clarify thinking. Draw a diagram, construct a table, cover a page with zig-zags like a child finger painting, cover a page with phrases and arrows, use colored pencils or markers, do it on poster paper on an easel or on the floor, just get past words and blow up the frame to accommodate visuals of any and all kinds. You may soon see the bigger picture you’d been looking for coming into focus.

9.  Talk To Yourself. Talking out loud to yourself can lead you out of confusion. Assuming you are in a setting that allows for this, simply talk, out loud, about the issue you are grappling with. Talking out loud engages a different part of the brain than thinking in silence. It can clear out the fog.

10.  Do What Works. Don’t worry about convention, or what’s supposed to work. Some people focus better with music playing or in a noisy room. Some people focus better when walking or running. Some people focus best in early morning, others at night. There is no right way, only the best way for you. Experiment to discover what works best for you.

Wonderful advice on harnessing our focus power! Write on! 

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In terms of narrative … there’s nothing but the Bible for sheer storytelling. How do you get at something that has already been done so perfectly? I suppose that explains my ‘fixation’…”   Herman Wouk

Some time ago, a New York Times story by Brooks Barnes sported this jaunty headline: “At 97, He has a Book (or 2) Left.” The story was about Herman Wouk, whose birthday would have been this week, on May 27. The Pulitzer Prize-winning author of The Caine Mutiny, Marjorie Morningstar, and The Winds of War, Herman was almost hitting 100 at the time the Times story appeared, but he was still going strong.

So strong, in fact, that, even as he was aproaching 100, he had just come out with a brand-new novel. It was published by Simon & Schuster, the same firm that published his very first book, Aurora Dawn, which hit the shelves in 1947 — more than 70 years before.

Herman’s novel, The Lawgiver, wove a lighthearted tale told via social media. Yup, that’s right. Hermie was be almost a century old, but he was no slouch with his head in the sand! His novel featured an innovative format that used text messages, memos, e-mails, and even Skype transcripts to corral a subject he had wanted to tackle for decades: Moses.

In a zany literary escapade, Herman decided to take a fresh approach to Moses by building a story around a fictional group of modern media types who are making a movie about him. Woven into the story were some ambitious themes. According to the Times interview, Herman touched on “rekindled love, religious heritage, and familial ties.”

It also gave a moving look at Herman’s 66-year marriage to Betty Sarah Wouk, who served as his agent and creative supporter. Betty Sarah never entered his office, but she played a “mighty” role in his writing life. He read every chapter of The Caine Mutiny to her as he was creating it. At one point, she told him to dump a character. Says Herman: “Pouf. Six months of work gone in an instant.” She was always right, he adds.

Well into his ’90s, Herman was practicing yoga and working with a personal trainer — and still writing away. “Sometimes, when I’m down, I feel like I’ve shot my bolt. But it passes, and I go back to the computer.” Now that’s writing dangerously! Write on!

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« Don’t tell readers what to feel. Show them the situation, and that feeling will awaken in them. Writing is not psychology. We do not talk ‘about’ feelings. Instead, the writer feels and through her words awakens those feelings in the reader. The writer takes the reader’s hands and guides him through the valley of sorrows and joy without ever having to mention those words.”  Natalie Goldberg, writing coach

Wise advice!

In my playwriting class, our instructor Mick would say, action precedes explanation—another way of saying, “show don’t tell.” A play unfolds in time and space: it’s action oriented. It doesn’t have a narrative flow, so you have to use action to convey information.

Even if you’re working on a novel, where narrative drive carries the story forward, it’s still important to go for drama rather than too much exposition. How can you master moments through drama? A few ideas:

Don’t sit outside your story: As writers, we’re observers; we stand outside the action and we describe it. And because we’re omniscient observers, we’re bigger than the action we describe — we encompass it. But we also have to step inside the action and describe what’s happening, not just from the outside in, but from the inside out. As Natalie Goldberg puts it, we need to “breathe the life into it.”

Don’t edit: When you’re in draft mode, stay with your first ideas, the first flashes of word play and inspiration. These flashes come from the deep-feeling part of you and they have emotional energy a reader will connect with.

Be there: Put yourself in the moment you’re writing about — see it, taste it, touch it, hear it. Use the language of the senses to capture its emotional flavor.

As we bring more immediacy to our writing through showing, take heed of Lee Child’s advice about not getting too hung up on the “show, don’t tell” writing rule. Showing too much can slow a story down. Strike a balance between the two in a way that feels right. And write on!

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Let’s launch this Memorial Day weekend early with a moving meditation about heroism:

American Hero
by Mary West Jorgensen

“Our history is studded with heroic names. These names compose a world roster from which almost every nation may choose one and say: He is ours! We produced the clan from which he sprung. See how he spells his name! That is how his family spelled their name years ago, here, in this land.

“The tale of heroism runs true from Valley Forge to Gettysburg, from
the Argonne to Guadalcanal. How is it possible to select one and say
of him: He is the bravest of all?

“Therefore, I choose one who lies in Arlington beneath the inscription: ‘Here rests in honored glory, an American soldier, known but to God.’

“Of him we know three things: he was an American, he died for freedom, he sleeps in the comfortable keeping of the Lord of Hosts.

“He is a symbol of heroic qualities, of the vision of Washington, of the humanity of Lincoln, of the courage of MacArthur, of the faith of Rickenbacker, of the sacrifice of Kelly. He is, moreover, a symbol of the common man who dies daily in order that freedom may not perish from the earth.”

The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier is guarded every minute of every hour of every day. Blessings upon those who keep this silent hero safe and upon all those who have protected us and who even now stand watch and face danger to keep us and America safe. Their tales are so important to share and remember.

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