Just recently I read 10 words that are encompassed in a loving relationship from the book aptly titled Love by Gregory Gödek. As I scanned them, it occurred to me that they could also be fruitfully applied to our relationship with our writing:

Trust: Writing surely requires trust! A belief in ourselves and in our work. A sense that we can trust our process, whatever it is, to help us express what we want. And a trust in our work itself—that if we approach it with devotion, it will reward us.

Intimacy: Coming to the page is a form of intimacy, isn’t it? We are fee to reveal our innermost thoughts—some of them we may choose to share, but others we may keep to ourselves. We’re far from the madding crowd when we write. Whatever we say, at least in the beginning, is between us and the page.

Communication: This is at the heart of writing, isn’t it? At first we may be struggling to communicate with ourselves—to understand exactly what it is we want to say. And then there is the desire to share what we know, what we’ve learned, what we long to say.

Commitment: This comes with the territory we’re exploring. When we choose to write, we commit ourselves to finding a way of writing that works for us, to improving our craft, and to making the effort to come to the page on a regular basis because it matters to us.

Love: When you love what you do, when you do your work with love, the work itself rewards you. And when we come to the page with enthusiasm—ardently and with joy—our writing responds doesn’t it?

Friendship: Having a friendly relationship with our writing is key, I think. When we think of words as our friends, it’s all so much easier, and so much more fun, isn’t it? It’s playfulness that turns duty into desire. When we see writing as fun, magic happens.

Patience: Ah, patience! Such a quiet, unassuming word. And yet, so powerful! Patience enables us to keep coming back to a story or play or novel that seems to be resisting us. Patience enables us to endure revision after revision until we find the story within the story—the one that gets at the heart of things. The one we were meant to write.

Humor: Without humor, where would we be? If we can’t laugh at ourselves and our fussing and fixing, writing would be a chore not a choice. Bringing a light heart to our writing, seeing it as serious fun, makes everything go more smoothly, doesn’t it? Humor greases the wheels of our writing. Laughter is the food of the gods—and goddesses!

Flexibility: We need this quality everywhere and all the time, don’t we. Everything changes and going with the flow allows us to accept change and even turn it to our advantage. When we’re flexible, we’re open. And when we’re open, especially when it comes to writing, surprising and wonderful things can happen. Our creativity blossoms.

Forgiveness: What a loving and caring quality this is, in life and in our writing! Sometimes we need to forgive ourselves for not making enough of an effort, for lapses in our devotion, for giving up too soon and stepping away from a troublesome project. And sometimes, I think, we need to forgive our work—when it resists us and refuses to shape itself to meet our needs and wants. Without forgiveness, I believe there is no forward motion.

Well, there you have it! This is my take on the 10 most important words in any loving relationship as they inform our writing. What do you think? I’d love to hear from you as we all write on!

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