“Last week we incorrectly stated that Mr. [X] was a defective on the police force. He is of course a detective in the police farce.”

A “malapropism” is defined as the mistaken use of a word in place of a similar-sounding word which often proves entertaining. The term was inspired by Mrs. Malaprop, a fictional character in Richard Sheridan’s 18th century play, The Rivals, who was famous for her word stumbles.

A few merry malapropisms to give you a laugh and lighten your day:*

“Good punctuation means not to be late.”

“He had to use a fire distinguisher.”

“It will percussion the blow.”

“Dad says the monster is just a pigment of my imagination.”

“Isn’t that an expensive pendulum round that man’s neck?”

“She was a child progeny, you know.”

“He winched a little as she began to stitch the wound.”

“My sister has. Extra-century perception.”

“A sneer went up after the Prime Minister’s speech.”

“ boxer is a sportsman who always hurts the one he gloves.”

“He’s a wolf in cheap clothing.”

And now, enlightened and entertained, let’s all write on!

* These wordsmithing snafus come to us via Eats, Shites & Leaves.

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