Witty Words

To amuse and inspire us, here are a selection of words from a Washington Post contest in which readers were asked to supply alternate meanings for everyday words:

Flabbergasted, (adj.):   Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

Negligent, (adj.):   Absentmindedly opening the door when wearing only a negligee.

Lymph, (v.):   To walk with a lisp.

Abdicate, (v.):   To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Flatulence, (n.):   Emergency vehicle sent for someone run over by a steamroller.

Balderdash, (n.):   A rapidly receding hairline.

Rectitude, (n.):   The formal, dignified bearing adopted by a proctologist.

Gargoyle, (n.):   Olive-flavored mouthwash.

Esplanade, (v.):   To attempt an explanation while drunk.

Oyster, (n.):   A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

Frisbeetarianism, (n.):   The belief that, in the great hereafter, the soul flies up to the roof and gets stuck there.

Wow! Creative wordsmiths are everywhere — we’re in good company as we all write on!



About karinwritesdangerously

I am a writer and this is a motivational blog designed to help both writers and aspiring writers to push to the next level. Key themes are peak performance, passion, overcoming writing roadblocks, juicing up your creativity, and the joys of writing.
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